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The following are some of the questions put to our staff over the eleven years that Coping Skills, The Adventures of Cosmos Crow as been used as school based prevention program.
What exactly are Coping Skills and The Adventures of Cosmos Crow? The Coping Skills Program was developed to teach children and adults the skills to do the following: The ability to experience a less than optimal situation, face it, accept it and proceed forward with an adaptive response (Kendall 1992). Base on the works of psychological pioneers such as Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, this project was designed help parents and children learn the skills “Coping Cognitions” (talking sense to yourself) easy to understand and use. With ten years of development and testing we determined that the easiest most effective way to have parents and children learn these skills was through the Adventures of Cosmos Crow. The books in Coping Skills’ The Adventures of Cosmos Crow use metaphorical stories (Fables) to help you and your children understand and remember the therapeutic concepts and techniques to be able to deal effectively with life. Those are big words for using stories to teach Good Thinking skills. Such an idea is not new and its very "oldness" is the reason it is such a powerful technique. “The logic of the emotional mind is associative: it takes elements that symbolize a reality, or trigger a memory of it, to be the same as the reality. That is why similes, metaphors, and images speak directly to the emotional mind…” (Goleman, 1995) Why do you offer Coping Skills Gift Certificates; How can I purchase and send a Coping Skills Gift Certificate"; How do I use a Coping Skills Gift Certificate or Coupon? It has been our experience that people that like the concepts in Coping Skills stories often want to introduce their friends, colleagues, adult children and grandchildren to the adventures of Cosmos crow. Suggesting that they go to our website may work but sending them a Gift Certificate that will allow them to download one or more Stories plus Audiobooks is even more effective. If the "Gift Sender" spends a little time reviewing our "Topics" and the story line of the stories in reliant topic, the "Giver" can even make informed suggestions of appropriate stories. Using the Gift Certificates is extremely easy. It is like paying cash at the grochery store. When you get tot he Checkout, you type (or paste) the Gift Certificate number in the approperate box, activate it by clicking the right side arrow and the cash total goes away and you are not charged for the purchase How does this program work? Coping Skills LLC has develop a series of stories and support materials to help children learn “rational coping cognitions,” which means effective self-talk. If a child tells himself, “I can’t learn this, it is too hard and will take too long,” they will not put forth the effort to succeed. Their failure to succeed will then confirm this ineffective (irrational) self-talk. But if that same child can be coached to use a rational coping cognition, “This will be really difficult but if all the others can do it, so can I if I just try,” they can stick with the task longer, be more successful and with a parent’s encouragement see the reality that they can succeed if they put out the effort. Why will this program help my children be happier and more successful? The rational coping cognitions that you and your child can learn through the stories in The Adventures of Cosmos Crow are the same ones that happy successful adults see as relevant in their lives. It is important to remember that Coping Skills is designed to help your child develop “flexibility” when dealing with life. If they can develop a core belief that, “Others can’t upset me if I choose not to be upset,” they will deal effectively with teasing as a child, ridicule as a teen and gossiping as an adult. These skills don’t just magically occur, they are not typically taught even by well meaning parents and will not become part of a child’s coping repertory just because you tell it to them a “zillion” times. Consequently, it is necessary for a program like Coping Skills to be available to families. During the years of development as a school based intervention, teachers would frequent comment, “I am getting more out of this than are the children.” Even as an adult, using this material with your children can also help you become happier and more successful. Why does Coping Skills use words like Good Thinking and Stinky Thinking? It is important to understand that we can not control the behavior of others and that things “just happen” in life. We can control how we feel about and respond to these behaviors and “happenings” if we can control how we think. Few people take the time and put in the effort to make these changes. We all dislike change, even change for the better. We also dislike coming to grips with our personal inadequacies. In order to accomplish the goals of the Coping Skills books, you will need to do both, thus the need for the fables. The fable characters think irrationally (Stinky), their emotions are too intense or inappropriate (Not OK), and their behavior is self-defeating (Thumbs Down), just like in real life. These characters also incur the negative consequences of this Stinky, Not Of and Thumbs Down sequence. This method of learning is less threatening than someone pointing out our personal Thumbs Down behavior. We are more receptive to understanding how we are the cause of our own personal problems. Consequently, we are more willing to change our Thinking and learn to deal more effectively with life. Why would any child need something like Coping Skills? Children by their very nature are immature and believe things that are not accurate. In many cases these beliefs are of little consequence and children often seem to learn to change these beliefs. Unfortunately some of the more common irrational beliefs of children may stay with them all their life and cause them many problems. Take a common childhood irrational belief, “I am bad if I make a mistake.” Children who have this belief or something similar as a central (core) belief (they think this way in many situations) will be hesitant to try something new or unfamiliar. They may seem overly sensitive to any perceive criticism and be labeled as shy, timid or as overly anxious. And just as in our poem indicates on the Home Page; “As long as they think that way, you can't bribe, scare or punish them enough to keep it from happening.” The stories and materials in Coping Skills are designed to help a child change their irrational “I am bad… ” to something more rational like, “I don’t like to make mistakes but that does not mean I am bad (a looser, stupid, unlovable)” and “Everyone makes mistakes, that is how we learn to do things better.”
Does this program target specific problems? Specific problems are addressed in the various stories and help with selecting relevant stories can be found in the ("Topics of Stores" section.). But what is important to remember is that the effective self-talk that your child can learn in a story, where the presenting problem is whining behavior (The Story of the Woolly Whiners), can be used in many other setting with other problems. As your child develops an expansive repertory of coping cognitions (rational, effective self-talk) they will be able to use some of these self-messages with new or unique variations of the life problems. Why does Coping Skills use fables in its stories? A fable allows you to see a sequence of events from start to finish. You see the situation, the thinking involved, how that thinking generates specific emotions and behaviors, and how those lead to the ultimate consequences. In our real lives, we are aware of only bits and pieces of this sequence. The goal is for you (and your children) to be able to identify the thinking in a particular situation, evaluate it and anticipate the emotional and behavioral reactions, plus the possible consequences. The fables allow for different "thinking" by the characters that will change their emotional and behavioral reactions and therefore, the consequences. This same process can occur in your child’s everyday life. How does Coping Skills help parents be better parents? As parents, we all want our children to be happier and more successful but most of us find ourselves lacking in the skills necessary to accomplish this wonderful goal. We may find ourselves punishing certain behaviors only to have them come up again and again. We may talk ourselves until we are “blue in the face” without impacting a problem behavior. With Coping Skills, you become a “Coach,” teaching your children the skills to be use in the “game of life.” You read and discuss the story Dr. Nice and Mr. Nasty with your child (a story about our ability to choose how to feel based on the things we are tell ourselves). Now that your child is familiar with this concept, as the Coach you are able to ask a child that appears on the verge of becoming angry, “You look like you are about to let out your Mr. Nasty. What are you thinking right now?” You are now able to correct any misperceptions, “You want to play with that toy but your brother has it and does not want to share, is that correct? You know that we do not have a rule that others must share so if he chooses to not share, what can you do?” They are now able to look at alternatives, “Go outside and play or find another toy or maybe watch television,” as the Coach you reinforce their Good Thinking, “Those are all acceptable options, which do you choose.” Is the sequence just described a reasonable alternative to (a.) making the one child give up the toy and (b.) punishing the second child for getting angry? Does this new way take a little more time and effort? Sure it does but both children have learned skills that can be used not only conflicts between siblings but also with peers in school and eventually with other adults. How much does this material cost? Each down loadable eBook (PDF) story in The Adventures of Cosmos Crow, which consists of a fable, worksheets, quiz, rationale, exercise (in 2/3 of the stories) and Parent Notes, cost $6.99. The down loadable eBook (PDF)story plus an Audio of the fable, worksheets and rationale will each cost $9.99. Explain how a parent can use the material in Coping Skills? We always suggest that a parent read the Parent Notes first. It is important that the adult understand the purpose of the story and the most important concepts. You can read the story to your child, have them read it themselves or have them listen to the audio (if purchased). We suggest that you have your child answer the questions on the worksheet pages (if possible) and using the Parent Notes, discuss their answers with them. You can have your child answer the questions in the Quiz and the two of you can go over the story exercise (if included). The Parent Notes of each story will provide you guidance with how to present the material and methods of reinforcing the skills being taught in that particular story. In the future use opportunities to reinforce the skills being taught, “I really like the way you treated you younger brother in the store… you really let out your Dr. Nice today.” When should I start using the Coping Skills stories? The simple answer is “as soon as possible!” We are learning constantly and the lessons we are learning can be good or bad, effective or ineffective. The beauty of Cosmos Crow’s adventures is that it is “just a story” that you read to your child, have them read it to themselves or listen to the audio. You are not lecturing or fussing and they are not in trouble. So there is no anxiety no “point” to be made. Because of this design, child will see these “lessons” in a positive light. By exposing your children to the stories over and over again, just as you would a fairy tale, your children will remember the story and its concepts. You can use the various story characters as “cues” to get your children to attend to their thinking, “Someone is about to let out his Mr. Nasty.” You will note in the description of the various stories that length of audio is listed. If you find that you child can not listen to the entire story, just take a “to be continued” brake and come back to it at a later time. Summarize what has been covered and continue. You can always come back to the worksheets, rationale and exercise when convenient. Are any of the stories in The Adventures of Cosmos Crow suitable for teens? Ironically, even the most basic stories may be relevant to teens. Even if you teenager thinks that a story is too “childish” ask them: “Do you ever act like the character(s) in this story?” If they do then the story and the lessons of the story are not too “childish” for them. We suggest that you read the descriptions of the various stories to determine which story may be used with your older children. If you still have questions, contact us, through our email, with your questions and we will gladly respond and provide you guidance. The author and other therapists frequently use several of these stories with adults in treatment for depression or addictions because the irrational thinking that can cause childhood problems if still present in adults can cause major adult problems. How can I know what stories will be relevant to my child’s problems? We do provide guidance in ‘About our Books’ selection. The Coping Skills stories and materials are designed to teach you and your child how to think rationally (Good Thinking), which allows you to see situations as they are in current reality, not distorted by prejudices, over generalization or past experiences. “Good Thinking” will allow you to have appropriate emotions (OK Emotions) that have the “correct level of intensity” and allow you to be “in control.” If you are able to have Good Thinking and OK Emotions, the behavioral responses you choose will be the most functional for the situation and in your best self-interest (Thumbs Up). This means that as your child is able to learn the coping skills necessary to deal with one issue (procrastination), they will also be learning how to deal with poor impulse control, anger outbursts and other issues that will have similar qualities. Consequently, it is not necessary to locate a story with an identical problem theme for you and your child to learn the coping cognitions to deal with a problem area.
If my child is well behaved, do I still need to expose them to these stories? There are two ways to look at this question based on our experience. The first is that you may be very fortunate and have an exceptional child who is making good choices and deals effectively with life. The reason you are fortunate is that this is a rare phenomena since most children tend to think immaturely. In our school based programs we found that these fortunate children were criticized by their immature peers for being “different.” Classroom teachers commented that the Coping Skills Program was beneficial for these students because now they had confirmation that they were “okay” and should continue in their appropriate (mature) behavior. The first of our Coping Ten Commandments states, “I shall not let my own or another’s Stinky Thinking control my life.” The second way to look at this concern is that you child may be well behaved because of their desire to please you or fear of consequences if they do not please you, the teacher or other authority figure. This is fine to keep them from doing something foolish and you can hope that they will learn good coping skills some way or another. Unfortunately, it is more likely that as a child gets older the “power” of the parent and societal constraints becomes less effective and unless these children have incorporated good coping skills into their own thinking they may engage in behaviors that will cause them life problems. This is why it is important that children learn these thinking skills as young as possible. When I purchase a story, is it better to read it or have my child listen to the audio? This is an interesting question. A parent and child sharing a story time can be very powerful when the parent can pick up on body language cues (do you understand what that word means?) or is able to increase your child’s interest (before I turn the page, what do you think is going to happen next). Even with the audio, we encourage interaction between parent and child and have purposely left out the questions on the worksheet pages so the parent can ask them and discuss the child’s answers with them. By the same token, the audio is convenient to use, can be played at any time and as often as you want. Since you will have both eBook (PDF Hard Copy) and audio when you get the “eBook (PDF) Story plus Audio” your children can “read along” in the book while listening to the audio.
If I have a question about using the material, how can I contact this company? Although we have tried to make the material simple and user friendly “please feel free to send us an email (Contact Us) with your questions and we will always respond. Can I make copies of the material’s I purchase? All Coping Skills stories and materials are copyrighted and can not be distributed without written permission but can be copied for your personal use. How many stories should I purchase? We have purposely made the stories and stories with audio as inexpensive as possible so they are affordable. If you purchase one story and it helps you with a specific problem (Tattling) and you never purchase any other stories, we feel we have met our commitment to provide the help you needed. Realistically, we hope that you will find that using the stories of The Adventures of Cosmos Crow, is so much fun to do with you children, provide such effective coping cognitions and relieves your relieve the anxiety of “what should I do” that you will want to get the entire series.
How to I use the eBook (PDF) and Audio Books How you use the eBook and Audiobook will depend on what kind of device you will be using. Let's take them in a logical order. Comptuer (Mac or PC) Tablet such as the iPad Our Audiobooks are MP3 format and can be played on your computer provided it support playing music, on any device that supports the MP3 format such as iTunes and many other MP3 players. Also, if you have a CD writer, you can make Audio CDs for playing on Computers, CD Players and most DVD Players If you should need personal assistance with this, please request assistance through our email.
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